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Friday, August 07, 2009

Kuttey

Note: A very Hinglish post. Arbit rubbish. I'm learning to do that mannnn!!!

Ruko ruko... Before some of you try to sue me for abusing the netizens so openly, lemme clarify and justify and......testify the title! Arre bhai, if someone can name his movie 'Kaminey', why can't I call my blogpost 'Kuttey'?! After all, Bollywood ki dictionary mein 'Kuttey.... kaminey' are as together as 'Ram aur Shyam', 'Ram aur Lakhan' and 'Seeta aur Geeta'...!!

So why is the blogpost titled 'Kuttey'? Is it because I was once chased by a stray dog and I ran for my life for almost three minutes? ( Tacky experiences make tacky confessions, hai na?!) No no no...

It is because I see that 'Kuttey's are all over the news today...! No baba, there is no 'canine flu' on the lines of 'swine flu' in the market these days.... But somehow, today's newspaper carries ek nahi, do nahi, teen teen kuttey-wali khabrein...

News 1 is Farah Khan being sued by a Chembur-based businessman because she made a statement on the show 'Dus Ka Dum' (hosted by Salman Khan at his 'basti-ka-laadla' best behaviour.). She said things like, "Mard kuttey hi hote hain. Aur wafaadar bhi nahi hote!" Sunne mein aaya hai ki Farah is very happy about the news! After all, she needs something to come into the limelight after her bombed 'judging' in 'Entertainment ke liye kuch bhi karega'!

News 2 is Sunny Deol to sue BIG FM for making fun of him and his father in a radio show 'Son sunny'. Before Sunny Deol sues me too, let me clarify that the only 'Kuttey' connection here is the fact that 'Kutte Kaminey.. main tera khoon pee jaaunga" is Dharmendra's dialogue. (Us se yaad aaya... Dharmendra restaurant mein jaake 'Fresh lime soda' ki tarah 'Fresh khoon soda' maangta hoga! Aur waiter jis tarah Fresh lime soda ke liye "sweet" or "Salty" poochta hai, waiter unko "A", "B", "O" or "AB" poochta hoga.... omg. This was the worst one from me in a long long time!!)

Enough of sue-sueing. Btw, kutteys have a definite style of sue-sueing in public. And this style reminds me of the way many Bollywood heroines dance and twist and turn in those so-called raunchy numbers.... :-p

Last news 3 is about Salman Khan's personal gym being given away to his pet dogs while Salman works out at a 'public' gym! Salman Khan ne jaanwaron ke prati prem ki ek nayi missile.. oops misaal kaayam ki hai!... But going by his gloated body in the recent times, I doubt if Salman was even using that gym!!! Chalo, ghar ki jagah kuch kaam toh aayi.. Waise bhi Katrina udhar gym ki jagah ko farsaanwale ko rent pe dene ki soch rahi thi...


Never mind, Kuttey blogpost khatam hua... Phir kabhi 'Kaminey' par likhunga.... No no no, it will not be about any corrupt politicians or some cheap reality show-wallahs .. It'll be a movie review of Vishal Bharadwaj's 'Kaminey'.. So, watch out this space!!

3 comments:

  1. lovely!

    i first thought this will be total anti kuttey... but as i read on.. it was amazing... mast likha hai beta.

    And regarding De wala post... read my confessions on her blog post comment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It feels nice to read a comment by someone who inspired me to blog! :) Thanks Aham...

    Yes, I read your reply to the comment too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. hey i am one of your religious blog reader waiting for kaminey

    ReplyDelete