Note: The 'I' of the post is not necessarily me alone. Is it you too?
Note(2): Audio blog
I have had dreams on certain nights when I am trying to speak. I can feel my lips moving and driving as much air out of my throat as they can. But I fail to produce a word - despite desperately trying to do so. The words simply don't come. The lips, the throat - they are all doing what they do when I speak. The difference between 'they' and 'I' is scary. It is a realization that the They that my body is, is different from the me that I am.
I have had dreams on certain nights when I go to college and people are staring at me and laughing. I am without clothes. I run to a place to hide but someone seems to be present everywhere. I wrap a towel around my waist and all of a sudden everything becomes ok. They don't mind a man in a towel.
I have had dreams on certain nights when someone knocks at my door. I open the door and go inside. I come out to see the person gone - and my door too. I see my house without my door; the furniture and the gadgets are untouched. I still feel scared. The door is gone. It hits me like a ton bricks that it was the door that was the most important part of my house.
These dreams that I see are insensible and meaningless. Or are they?
Maybe my dreams know how much I need the door to safeguard my house. Maybe my dreams know that my words are required often to hide my thoughts. Maybe my dreams know why you would laugh at me if you saw me without the veil of my towel.
Maybe my dreams know the secret that I have hidden from you.