You know you're watching a RGV movie when..

A couple of months ago, I had written a blogpost called 'You know you're watching a KJo movie when...'. Then I thought, why not the others. So here they are...

You know you're watching a Ram Gopal Varma movie when....:

1) The film moves slower than the traffic outside IIT main gate in Powai. Even if you catch a nap for two minutes through the movie, you would wake up to see the two characters still staring at each other, saying nothing. Arty indeed.

2) Close-ups like never before. You will see a strand of hair and wonder if it is Mohanlal's moustache or Ajay Devgan's chest hair.

3) The characters will remain still - moving their eyelids with shoggy closeups of the nostrils showing. And as you see the chin of the actor on the screen, the background score will be so loud and melodramatic that you might feel you are watching Rakhi Sawant sharing her life-experiences.

4) The anti-heroes are more in number than the heroes. The camera is kept on the floor ( :-p ) for the anti-heroes to make them look larger-than-life. The heroes don't deserve that attention.

5) You know you're watching a RGV movie when you see Nisha Kothari on screen. Who casts her otherwise anyways?!

6) The songs in the film are not there. Or when they are there, you hear the male singer clearing his throat rhythmically. (I so fear one day we'll have the sound of the singer spitting out of the cleared throat too. Yikes!)

7) Last but not the least, you know you're watching a RGV movie when.... you are alone in the theatre.