Abusive Relationships

Note: Yesterday, I realized that there were a lot of 'growing-up' issues that I could talk about. This one's the first to take the form of a blogpost.
Disclaimer: Not imaginary. Every dialogue, incident here is real.


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In a train compartment :

"Show me your hand.. what is this?", he, hardly 18 years of age, asked.

I saw red marks on her hand - they were clearly wounds from being assaulted with a blade.

"You told me you were going to smoke and drink on the 31st night...", she replied impishly.

"So? I told you it was the last time I was doing it right?"

"I still cannot take it."

"Then go to hell. You can't be with me. If you have to, you have to put up with all this..."

The girl gets a slap straight on her face. Everyone in the train compartment is pretending not to notice.

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Another couple, over the phone:

"Why did you go with Nisha to Raghav's birthday that day?!", she asked nearly shouting at him.

"You weren't there! And I had to go anyways...."

"But why that b$tch? Couldnt you go with Sujay?"

"Listen, I am not taking this $hit ok?!!"

"Why? Nisha pleases you these days, doesn't she..."

And there begins a volley of abuses that I could put to words but don't want to.

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Lucky are those who haven't had to be a part of relationships like these. Irrespective of the origin of these relationships - college romance or through common friends, they can turn abusive in any manner.

The abuse in these relationships is not just physical but also verbal and psychological at times. I know a person who made his girlfriend stop talking to all her male friends - just because he thought she would be disloyal to him. I know another girl who made her boyfriend walk barefoot for seven days - just to prove his love to her.

Abusive relationships like these are no less than torture if not worse than it. But what is painful is that most of the 'abusees' take all of it because they think it's all a part of love, because they think they are dependent on their partner emotionally.

I wanted to end this post with questions but I know that there are enough of them in the minds of people who are battling such relationships.

Love that brings pain and humiliation through intentional behaviour of your partner is not love but mere gratification of your partner's ego and there is no valid reason why you should allow him/her to do that to you.

Please decide the line till which you want to stay mum but once it all goes beyond that line, please drive these relationships away from your life and your heart...

Let's spread the love that pleases everyone and not the love that abuses....