Bhengi

Note: Bhengi is a very derogatory term used for a squint-eyed female.

Disclaimer: No offence meant to anyone. Not aimed at any single person in particular.

"Aee bhengi bol na, homework kiya?!"

"Bhengi bhi movie ko aa rahi hai kya?"

"Bhengi ko kuch samajh nahi aata re Maths mein.. sab do do dikhaayi deta hai usko!"

Every time she heard that word, she went weak in her knees. Her confidence went down in parts each time someone used that word on her.

Everyday at night while brushing her teeth, she would stand opposite the mirror and stare at her eyes. This part of her body - she did not want it. She did not accept her eyes as herself - no!, they aren't me!! Several times, she had practised to keep them straight and just when she thought she was successful, without her knowledge, she would end up going back to the original state.

In trial rooms at apparel stores, she would close her eyes while trying on the new clothes. She could not see her eyes staring at her from four directions through the mirrors on the walls. She would just come out and show the new dress to her mom seeking her opinion.

She would have her worst time when someone would ask for a photograph. She would look around for sunglasses. If not she would try to do her mirror act in the bathroom so that the eyes looked fine. She would end up staring at the camera.

The world, she thought, was staring at her. This world included her own eyes.

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We all have differences in the way we are. The differences since birth, during and after puberty. We often try to hide these differences that we have in us - try to act 'normal'. We often forget that being 'natural' is better than being 'normal'.

I'd end this post with a line I had read somewhere, a line that helped me get over my growing-up years when, I have to admit, I felt like this person in the story -

"Be yourself. Because no one else will."