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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Tips and tricks to watching an Ekta Kapoor serial

New to watching an Ekta Kapoor serial ? (Lucky you!) Here are some tips and tricks: (in no specific order.)

1) The central character has to be a girl. It's always 'aam ladki ki khaas kahaani'. Ladka logs don't have any khaas kahaani ever.

2) The one with the most inflated balloonish body and least facial expressions is the 'current' boyfriend of the serial's central character.

3) The signature background score of each character will give you an idea whether it's a positive or a negative character.

4) When love blooms, a Tushar Kapoor song starts playing in the background. (And that's the only place in the world where it is played.)

5) (Imaginary) Statistics show that there is one death, two divorces, one 'rising-from-death' and one naajaayaz bachha every twenty-five episodes.

6) No one dies in the world. Yes. No one dies. The person will come back. After a plastic surgery or a memory-loss. And more often than not, he would have a new girlfriend by his side. (Creative liberty, eh?!)

7) When the camera revolves around a character with increasing and varying speed, one must know that it's an important scene. There's practically no other hint how you would know this.

8) Don't let the title of the serial confuse you. Remember - It has nothing to do with what the serial would contain. It's either borrowed from a Hindi movie or just a random alliteration of 'K's.

9) I suggest a new disclaimer at the beginning of each of the episodes : "All characters and incidents in the serial are a work of pure haphazard sadistic imagination. A resemblance to anyone living or dead is just not possible. But hey, any resemblance of what you feel to the I-need-to-go-to-the-toilet feeling is purely purely coincidental."

As a footnote, the best method to enjoy an Ekta Kapoor serial -

1) Sit on the couch.
2) Turn on the TV.
3) As soon as the title song starts, press the round button on the top right of the remote. It is often called the power button.

For best results, sit with a loved one - a family member, a friend or just anyone you are fond of. When you have a good time chatting up with that person, there would be no Tushar Kapoor track playing in the background - so you can be happy!

1 comment:

  1. hahaha!! ur tips should come attached with every TV & cable manual. they will go a long way in warning unsuspecting victims before hand!!i guess this sudden urge to pen down must have come from watching ekta's Mahabharat quite accidently???