Haan hum paanchvi pass se tez hain

Yes yes yes, Shahrukh, we are smarter than 'paanchvi pass'es. Smart enough not to take what is going on in the new game show. We can easily make out that jokes you crack, the faces the contestants make are all staged and rehearsed.

We thought only the celebrity-special episodes in game shows like these are orchestrated - but no! You have created history, gone one step ahead and come up with a show where the questions are dialogues, the answers are dialogues, the reactions are dialogues and it's all one big joke!

The kids are the only saving grace. They are all so cute and effervescent that they are the only reason why I would want to watch this show for more than thirty seconds!

Shahrukh Khan is my favourite actor. But, he and this new show ham big-time!

Filmy lines that left a mark

I am filmy - very very Bollywood! I cried when the Indian hockey team won the world cup in Chak De India; I felt evil when Mayabhai had a builder thrown off the terrace of a building; I was awe-struck when Devdas and Paro walked through the glass-house. And there are lines which I so love - I don't use them often. Ever. But still, I love them. Love is not all about using something, is it?! (That could be a line as well..)

1. "Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!!" (Om Shanti Om)- This line infuses hope. Positivity. And the never-give-up attitude.
2. "Bade bade deshon mein aisi chhoti chhoti baatein hoti rehti hai.." (DDLJ) - Aah, what a line to flirt!! ... to kiss and make up? ..Not literally!
   
3. "Tumhe meri aankhon mein kya dikhaayi deta hai?!" - This line will surely leave a mark. On my cheek. Either a lipstick mark - or a slap.
4. "Mujhse dosti karogi!" (Umpteen number of Yash Chopra Movies) - This is the cheesiest line I've ever come across. Utterly filmy - so much that it grosses me out as well!

Well, that's all I can think of. Can you think of anything more?

Counter-destiny ** PLEASE READ **

Destiny is for the weak-hearted. What moves the earth and brings about events is will-power. This is something that is called 'counter-destiny' which completely neutralizes the concept of destiny. My concept of Counter-destiny empowers will-power and treats it like a force in the world - strong enough to make a change.

Newton's law says that motion occurs because of an 'external unbalanced force'. This is precisely what brings about an event. An event occurs because of an external unbalanced force of will-power. I want something to happen - somebody else does not. Our will-powers counteract and either of them turns successful.

Weigh this concept against a lot of things and well-established, well-accepted propositions and you'll know that what I'm trying to say actually holds true. The Newton's laws, the chaos theory, the concept of 'think positive - things fall in place then' that our grandmothers have taught us - all lead us to this one point.

We all are collectively framing the present. Destiny does not exist in separate threads for all of us. We are paving the path for ourselves and each other- together.

We all are writing the history and the future of the world. With our will-power. That is why they say that God lies within all of us. Because all of us possess the power to influence, change and bring about transformation in the world.

Parting words

Today was the last day of college - I mean, the whole of engineering course. People in my class cried (while I watched with my jaws dropped!) I want to cry too - tears betray me!! :) I just don't feel like.

But, now I've decided... I am going to write a really really senti post.. u know, I miss you miss you all... I am actually surprised at how insensitive I've gotten. Tell you what.. I've cried like there's no tommorrow while watching KABHI KHUSHI KABHIE GHAM!... with an emotional quotient like that, i must be shedding tears from my ears and nose too! But, I'm totally ... blank!

I was busy juggling my journals (hey!! that's an alliteration..) all day - and had no time to think that these guys n gals are not going to be with me now. Yaa, I had gotten pop corn for Priyanka - becos the first day of college, we had eaten pop corn together...

this was closest to being nostalgic (abt the fouryears gone bye) that i cud get... yawn, i m sleeping.. i really cannot bring myself to crying or feeling anything close to emotional..


this is easily the most pathetic blogpost here..

The breeze Across my face

The wind blows across my face as I sit at the window of a running train. The train is making way over the tracks that connect and part from one another.
The train continues to move on. The wind that hits me on the face is because of the train, the tracks that are intertwined, the motion and the window.

The train is time, the tracks the events that have the intrinsic nature of being unpredictable and interlinked. What we call life is just looking out of the window on a running train and feeling the breeze against one's face...

Fashion

Simply put, Fashion is culture. It liberates you - many of us take it very literally and want to be liberated of our clothes. Fashion is not that.

Fashion liberates you because it instills in you the confidence to present yourself before the world. It empowers you to happy.

Fashion is not just about following trends - following trends is perfectly alright as well. Fashion, however, is a medium of feeling good about oneself. If it comes to you from brands, so be it. If it comes to you from accessories, or flowers - do it.

Fashion for yourself is joy, positive vibes and confidence. Never leave the three. And never leave what can act as the source for the three.

Personal and Professional

My final year engineering project was an email software that segregates emails on the basis of their content into different folders - so an email from your girlfriend goes to the 'personal' folder and the one about the new on-site assignment is moved to the 'professional' folder.

Like many other things in the virtual space, this is so convenient. But isn't as easy in the real world. We struggle hard to juggle between the emotions and the pay package - we try hard to keep our personal and professional lives different.

But it is not rare that a bad day at college ends up spoiling a movie date I had planned with a couple of school friends. And most of us find time to move our hands across our mom's photographs placed on a side of our worktable taking a five minutes break from work.

It is really not easy to compartmentalize our lives like that - the sad part is that most of us claim to be 'very particular about that.' That's hypocrisy, isn't it?!

And the less lucky of us are the ones when the compartment that we try to make has a duct that connects the two. A relative at the workplace. It can contaminate both - for both of us.

Glorifying crime

A group of gangsters drinking at a bar. They are supercool - they have women dancing around them. And this is supposed to be a 'dhaasu' film.

'Satya', 'Shooutout at Lokhandwala' and their likes surely had an impact on me, wouldn't deny. I thought the performances by some of the actors were amazing. But the question is, are we glorifying crime?

Not just in movies, but generally. Criminals become politicians. (Politicians become reality show judges and actors. Actors become singers. Singers become reality show hosts. TV hosts become actors. That's another issue altogether) There are pages of information about the Dons and the mafia in the newspapers while a small five inch writeup about Lal Bahadur Shastri ji's birthday celebration (which also falls on the same day as that of Gandhiji).

Are we glorifying crime? Not just the media. But are we, in our minds, glorifying crime - due to whatever reason, guilt, fear, awe; but somewhere we are.

And it is surely not a sign of civilization.

Murders

When I hear the word, I visualize a semi-naked Mallika Sherawat kissing an nearly-naked Emraan Hashmi. A murder of aesthetics!

And then we see murder of talent in the political arena with sycophants trying hard to please the powerful madams. You need to someone's someone to be a someone - and it is sad.

We are often murderers too. We murder our dreams and feeling - due to guilt, reluctance or whatever. The point is that we do.

Murders are all over the place....

Loudspeakers, synthesizers and recorders

No, I am no authority in music. In fact, I believe no one is - in any field whatsoever.

The three words that I've put in the title of this blog-post are in fact three categories of people. Three patterns of behaviour that I observe in most of us.

Some of us are loudspeakers. We cannot keep a secret. Every time we hear a whisper in our ear, we want to tell the world about it. And we describe ourselves as being 'transparent', 'open' and 'innocent'. Loudspeakers are loud; and when you blurt out something that is personal to someone else, it can surely hurt.

Some of us are synthesizers. We generate 'facts', spice up what we've heard and do what is infamously called, gossip. This is the most common pattern among the three here - and we cover it up by saying that gossiping is a very human trait. (By the way, I do not agree with the fact that members of a particular gender are synthesizers. The trait of 'synthesizing' facts is .. well, yes, human and not limited to any particular gender.)

And many of us are recorders. We hear, we remember. And we remember for long. And one day, play it back. We carry the words in our hearts, feel sad about them - and give vent to the pent-up discontent one not-so-fine day. Recorders are the ones who have the maximum overhead - for they carry silently in their hearts, a lot of hatred and pain. The hurt the recorders cause to themselves by brooding is more than what they do to others when they play back the reasons.

And there are 2-in-1s and 3-in-1s too. A combination of either of the above three.

"My Dad is an ATM Machine"

I came across these lines on a tshirt that was supposed to be young, modern and oh-so-cool. And this funny bloke who carried the tshirt was so proud of these words.

Made me realize how sad the situation has gotten. We look at our parents as ATM machines - people who'll sponsor my parties. I'll show my money off on a date - money that my parents have earned - and at the end, say how they've earned so less and crib about how the 'generation gap' causes me trouble as a youngster in today's times. And a teenager does not think twice before telling the mother who brought him up, "You and dad did not take any risks at all.. I am not going to be like you... I want to earn much more money than what you did..."

In these days when loans are available (within 24hours, without any guaranteer, with easy repayment schemes) at every nook and corner of the city, people have forgotten the word 'debt' - and forgotten the debts we owe to our parents, the people who do much more than just bringing us to the world.

Bloom

She was hiding inside the closely packed petals. Droplets of water fell on them and she titillated inside. She wanted to come out. She wanted to see what the world was like.

She began to spread out. And slowly, the closed mouth opened. The petals started unrolling. They seemed so small while they were a bud. Now, the petals had stretched out their arms as if they were making way for her to come out and spread her magic.

And she did. She filled the air with her presence, she infused the joy she was made of herself. She was out in the open now. People could see her, feel the power that she had.

She was now on the tip of this bloomed flower. She was.. life.

The Little Magician - Series 02

Zoheb did not remember seeing his dad ever. He always heard stories of him from Nasirmiyan, who lived in the Chenaabpur village. Zoheb used to live in the village too. They had a huge mansion back then. But after his father died, they had to move to this little hut. It was connected to village only through a long mud-paved road. The road that went to Zoheb's school. That was Zoheb's only contact with the village and the world apart from Fatima.

Zoheb would often ask Fatima, "Why did we leave the village?" Fatima would reply, "After your waalid saab died, there was a burglary at our place. We lost all the money we had. We had to sell the house and come here." Zoheb would nod.

Never did the thought touch him that if they had sold their house, why they had to live in such utter poverty here in this hut.

He was too innocent for all that. He would wake up before the sun dawned. Get ready for school and play around in the tiny space they had opposite their hut. In the afternoon, he would come back. The rest of the day he would be listening to stories from Fatima - the stories were mostly about his father.

Zoheb's father, Fatima had told him, was a bright man. Zaheer, Zoheb's father was a merchant of glassware and owned a sprawling shop in the bazaar. He would procure cutlery and exquisite articles that were the privilege and the topic of discussion of the elite in the village.

His father was six feet tall and had a beautiful black beard - the one every pious Muslim was supposed to have. He wore a Lucknowi kurta-pyjama and often a velvet jacket that he had purchased while on a tour in Kashmir. He would always greet his customers with a smile and a kind word or two. This, people said, was the secret of his increasing popularity among his customers.

Zoheb never believed Fatima's description though he would nod when she told him all this. He remembered his father - had faint images of him in his mind. He remembered his father running towards their house. He remembered how his father called out to him and asked him to go inside the house and shut the door.

He heard some voices and when the door was opened, his father lay dead.

He had suffered an heart attack.

Fitting in

To fit into somebody's heart and somebody's life, you need to fit that person in yours. With all of his/her errors, incapacitation and apprehensions.

Relationships of any sort begin with this adjustment that is required to bring two hearts and souls close to each other. When you stand in a crowded train, you have to watch where you're standing and adjust. With so many people and so many things, you need to fit in a person.

If I like everything about that person, how is he/she different from me?! He/she is different from me because he has things that I don't like in him. And if I want him/her in my life, I MUST fit him/her the way he is.

Relationships are like sockets. You need to fit in, lock yourself and still allow the movement in the direction desired.

Relationships are not called attachments, connections for nothing.

Strength of a woman - Series 02

Disclaimer: The story here is NOT a piece of fiction. It is as real as the sun and the stars.

In her age and times, women were supposed to be at home, cook, wash, look after children, celebrate festivals, jump into the fire when their husband died. She also married a man twenty years her senior.

She lost her first child that was less than a fortnight old. Difficulties make us stronger - and she resolved to be a doctor herself.

When she expressed her wish, it became a topic of public discussion. And she became an outrageous woman - and was considered an outcast.

She became the centre of religious turbulence when the Christian missionaries approached her to convert to Christianity - and they assured her that she would get her respect and dignity back.

She retained the religion she had believed in since birth, she followed her dreams too.

She became the first Hindu lady doctor. She was Dr. Anandibai Gopalrao Joshi.

Toggles and goggles

Life does not have toggles. I cannot just switch off one thread of thought when I am supposed to be doing something else. I cannot just stop thinking about the new movie or the new person in my friend's life when I am writing this blog here. I wish I could just toggle between thoughts, situations, people. Between my fears and my ambitions.

Life does give us goggles - with tinted glass. These goggles give us the colour through which life wants us to see it. All of us are wearing different coloured goggles - and all of us are seeing a different world.

So what if we don't have toggles to shut off something from our lives? We wear these goggles and the effect of the ill-feelings goes down.

Ambitions

Ambitions are light. The light we all want to reach. The light that we see coming from a distance. Ambitions are the red sun which Hanuman wanted to gulp down just after he was born. Ambitions are the eyes of a budding actor looking at a life-size hoarding of Shahrukh Khan.

Ambitions are the source of light that pulls us towards it. And as we get closer, the light becomes sharper. Sharp enough to blind us...

Spells and spellings

You fail to spell some things properly and a bad spell begins. People begin to misunderstand you - the closest of friends are distanced. People who you thought you could confide in disappear.

Who is to be blamed? The spellings of a friendship that went wrong - and how it lost its meaning. Or just the bad spells cast over us?

What happened to me way back in 2004 just before my HSC exams is back. The spell is back. I am trying to stay away from its aftermath.

The Little Magician - SERIES 01

Disclaimer - A story of fiction

The hut had a roof made of straw. The walls were carefully lined with mud and dung. There was a hedge fence surrounding the hut with hardly any garden. The door was half broken. As one entered the hut, one could smell burnt wood. There was a lantern hanging by a log of wood that protruded from the ceiling. There was hardly any oil left for the flame inside the glass was near extinction.

A lady walked in with a pail of water. She was in green and loose strands of grey hair covered her wrinkled face. The eyes had gone deep and empty too. She limped towards the small pieces of wood arranged together - the place where she cooked. She placed the pail of water on the floor. Covered it with a plate. She had no water jug to keep the water.

She walked towards the corner where lay some onions and potatoes in a brass vessel. She picked three potatoes and placed them on the blocks of wood. And lit the fire.

Twenty minutes later, she used a pair of old tongs that had turned black already, to pick them and placed them on the floor. She then sat on the floor near the door with her eyes set on the street that led to the school. The only school in Muzaffarpur.

The sun was high in the sky but Zoheb hadn't come home yet. Her eyes looked worried now. She went inside the house and came out again almost three times in five minutes.

Finally Zoheb entered the hut. His shirt torn from the sleeve, his lower lip bleeding. His hair ruffled and a muddy pajama. One could see mud along the path of the dried tears down his cheek.

"Fatima bi... they beat me up!"

"Who?" she asked as she hurriedly hugged him. He was still trembling.

"Sarfaraaz and his friends. They said my father was a baaghi. A traitor. They said my father was working for the Devil. And when the villagers found out one day, they stoned him to death."

Fatima bi's eyes grew with horror. This was obviously not the first time she had heard that. But she had kept it away from Zoheb till now.

"Fatima bi... is that true? Was my father a traitor?"

"No my son.. he wasn't!"

"Then why did they say something like that!"

"Zoheb miyan, you are a kid now. You will come to know when you grow up.", she said as she placed the potatoes on the plate, peeled them open. And fed him with her hands.

They were too poor to have anything more for food. All that Fatima owned was this hut, an old cupboard which belonged to her brother, and a son her brother had left for her to take care of.

Lines of Exclusion

We love to keep things away from others. As a child, all of us have memories of how we warned our kid bro not to touch the new toy car that was given to us by a relative from the US. "You are too young for it", we justify.
And we come across many such lines of exclusion that are hurled at us. We tend to forget the ones we hurt the other person with. "You don't understand me at all.", "you stay out of this ok!"

These lines that we throw at others often prove to be the lines of separation between our hearts. And every friend lost, means a reason less to live.

Habits

You do something once - and then you do something again and again. It grows as a part of a regular activity - something that people call a habit.


Habits are activities, habits are the objects around me, habits are the people.


And the most painful phase comes when you know you have to get rid of a habit. And when the habit is very much a part of your life.

Life and living in the body we are in is a habit too. And one day, we have to get rid of this habit as well...

On the lines of 'Promises are meant to be broken', habits are meant to be gotten rid of...

The Little Magician - SERIES 00

"He was standing on the edge of the mountain. He was nearly four feet tall. He looked at the pitch-black sky through his sparkling eyes. He had a grin on his face - he raised his right hand. He closed his eyes. His lips moved silently.

Within no time, clouds filled the sky. He soon felt raindrops on his eyelids. He opened his eyes. Looked at the sky - it was raining now. He stretched out his tiny arms.

He saw his father smiling at him from the sky."



The story of Zoheb. A little magician from Chenaabpur. Coming soon.

Conquering one's fears

( A longer blogpost than the ones of recent times. I will make a conscious attempt not to ask any questions in this blogpost. I will answer them myself. In fact, that's what the blog should help me do - find answers for the questions in my mind.)

"Fear is the greatest human disease" said Gandhiji and aptly so. Everything that is sad is in fact associated with fear. Everything that's evil and ill in this world can be traced back to two things - fear and desire. While desires can possibly take you towards the good, fear is often destructive in a great way.

If we try to link the two, one can say that the fear to be unable to fulfil one's desires - takes us towards making mistakes, feeling depressed, growing sad and slowly becoming lonely. That's the point - fear is the mother of all evils.

A fear is like a biological or a computer virus. It needs a substrate to grow on. Fears of the mind often utilize thoughts as this substrate. And continue to grow until they become large enough to consume the thoughts themselves.

Great thinkers of the world give us the key to conquering fears - to face them. Which is very ironical in itself. If I am scared of something and want to stay away from it, how would I confront it?

The first step is to know what you are scared of. A very practical way of doing this is to write it down. Take a piece of paper and write ten things you are scared of (to start with, only ten please.) Rank them in the decreasing order of magnitude. Start with the lowest fear. Why are you scared of it? Is there an incident or a person that makes you feel so? Write about it opposite the fear that you have mentioned. Proceed to step two.

To conquer one's fears, one needs to hate them. Know that you hate to fear the fears. When you hate them, you would feel revengeful and this would be your second step to uprooting them from your mind.

Hate is a rather powerful catalyst to help one resolve and take a stand. As the hate becomes stronger, your mind will show you the path.

You would have to do things that you don't like. But remember, that all this is also for something you don't like and you don't want in your life - the fear. We often undermine the energy and the potential of the mind. It often answers most of our questions and the subconscious mind is well-aware of our strengths and weaknesses. Fear is the greatest weakness - and the best solution is to ask yourself how to battle it. Close your eyes and follow that path.

That path shown by your very own mind will help you face your fears. With closed eyes.

Black or white

Black and white - the elementary colours. There are multiple colour scheme models defined - all of them have the element of black and white in them.


Black is the absence - white is the presence.... is what one believes.


Is black really the absence? The universe is filled with black. And when the sun shines, the black is masked and there is white. So is black the presence?


Is time black or white?

Is God black or white?

Are you black or white?


Is time the presence? Or is time the absence - is time running or is it ticking down?


Is God the presence of the Good in the dark? Or is the devil the presence of the bad in the bright light of God?


The world is indeed black or white.

Sides of a coin

Every coin has two sides - a good and a bad side. So does life. We often crib about the sorrows we've undergone. But we forget the fact that there are two sides of a coin. And both are so deeply connected to each other that one cannot exist without the other.

It's the way we look at it. It's how we define the 'head' of the coin - the good side or the bad side.

I want to touch the sky

I want to flap my wings and fly.. to the horizon. I want to look at the earth from eighty feet above it. I want to flap my wings and then let go with the wings spread out - as I cut through the air like a kite.

I want to see the river like a vein on the rough skin of the land. I want to see the green patches of land - the symbol of vibrance and life.

I want to touch the sky.

I don't need wings to fly. I don't need eyes to see all this from the sky. I have a mind which will take me there in no time.

Wings lie on the shoulders and eyes on the skull. I do not know where the mind is in my body. But it certainly is more powerful than any other part of my body...

Transition - pitstop - vacuum

Why do I feel disinterested to do things I would love to, till now? Why do I not laze around even after the wakeup alarm dies down? Why do I keep staring at a black spot somewhere in the air?

This is a transition - and I do not know the either end-states.

This is a pitstop - and I do not know what rejuvenation I am going to experience.

This is a vacuum - that has sucked me out of myself.

I see the mirror in my room staring back at me. It's ceased to say anything to me. It's angry with me - for being indecisive and confused.

My mirror's stopped talking to me. I've stopped talking to myself...

"Jodhabai doli mein baith chuki hai"

I went for a second watch of 'Jodhaa Akbar' and came across something very peculiar that has relevance in 2008 as well.

Whenever these members of the royal family, Akbar (a king who makes sure that he looks erotic - even when he's exercising..), Jodha or the rest of the family do something - even if it is really really trivial, a 'sevak' shouts it out by saying, "Jodhabai doli mein baith chuki hai", "Jodhabai prasthaan kar chuki hai.."

And why do we blame news channels of today for broadcasting news like "Aishwarya wears pink for her wedding", "Aishwarya smiles at Jaya Bachhan during the wedding", "Abhishek Bachhan says hello to Rekha.."?

It is very much a part of the 'Indian culture and history', isn't it?!

Cover - uncover

I read about yet another wardrobe malfunction this morning - a model accidentally uncovered her derriere. And lo, she's famous!!!

If you want the media to cover you, you need to uncover! If you are a model, maybe your body. If you are a celebrity, maybe a deep dark secret.

If you want people to notice you, you need to dare to bare. Rakhi Sawant exposes one thing, somebody might expose something else.

And once you are a celebrity, you invert the strategy. You need to cover. You need to be - secretive. Only when you say, "I have a personal life too" and cover up, people would love to uncover. And you continue to get noticed.

Who says the world goes round and round? The sun also covers and uncovers the earth every day...

... it is all a matter of cover- uncover.